Ever Fallen in Love Read online

  “Yes, but I reserved the right to extend that agreement. Didn’t you read the fine print?”

  “Theo,” she said with a little scowl and what was no doubt going to be a reprimand on her lips.

  “There are four nannies who will be arriving here in the next—” He picked up his watch from the nightstand. “—in the next six hours, and I would greatly appreciate you helping me interview them.”

  “I don’t know anything about nannies,” she protested.

  “No more than I do, but two heads have got to be better than one, eh? In exchange for this help, I will set my lawyer onto the situation with the warrant.”

  “I didn’t tell you my tale of woe in order to guilt you into helping me,” she said. “Advice, yes, I’m happy to have your advice, but I can’t afford an expensive lawyer.”

  “That’s where the mutually beneficial part enters into the agreement,” he said, getting up when he heard Peter gurgle. “You help me find a competent nanny, and I’ll pay you in my lawyer’s fees.”

  “That’s hardly a fair exchange—oh Lord.”

  Theo held his son at arm’s length, a foul stench wafting on wings of the air-conditioning. “The boy is going to turn into a dolphin if he has many more baths. Would you—”

  “Nope,” she said, gathering up her clothes, and, with the sheet wrapped around her, dashed to her own room.

  “Coward!” he yelled after her, his heart singing despite the foulness that Peter had managed to create. “You, sir, are repulsive, but since we have to woo Kiera into letting us take care of her, I guess it’s a bath for both of us.”

  He didn’t wonder when he had decided to take care of Kiera. He simply knew that she needed him, and he’d be damned if he let her down. She’d just have to accept that about this, he knew best.

  SEVEN

  “You are the biggest of all the fools who ever fooled around,” I told my reflection, wiping a circle in the steam clinging to the mirror while I brushed out my wet hair. “You can’t stay with him. Even if he wanted you to. You know this. You know what will happen if you do. And yet, here you are, tempted by a delicious man and adorable, if stinky, baby. This is all shades of wrong, so why are you even considering staying another day?”

  My reflection made a face, which didn’t help me at all try to reconcile the happenings of the morning. The issue of steaming hot sex with Theo aside—and I knew full well that a relationship with him was not at all something I should be thinking about—the real problem was the knowledge that I was a danger to Theo and Peter.

  “I know Misha well enough,” I told myself while I dressed. “He wouldn’t hesitate so much as a second to use anyone for his own purposes, and would, in fact, take exceptional joy in hurting someone who was close to me.”

  I’d had enough proof of that over the years, seeing with the wisdom of time away from the abusive relationship just how he’d manipulated me into abandoning my friends and ostracizing my family until I was left with no one but him.

  “Bowling balls, wheels of Gouda cheese, owl’s eyes,” I murmured, taking my few toiletries out of the bathroom to my duffel bag. I eyed it, wondering if I dared put my trust in Misha being unable to find me for a day or two, just a couple of days that I could spend helping Theo. And enjoying Theo. And learning about him, like why he was on the outs with his family, and what he was going to do with Peter, and a million other things that I wanted to know about him.

  “Maybe if I stay in the hotel room, Misha won’t have an inkling of where I am, or even if I am still in Auckland.” I gnawed my lower lip while I thought about that. The urge to crawl out from under the burden of Misha was strong, but I knew what would happen if I let my guard down. “Rotelle pasta. Pushchair wheels. Life Savers.”

  Theo tapped at my door and opened it a couple of inches, Peter in his arms. “Can I leave him with you for a few minutes? I badly need to shave unless you want to end up with some serious whisker burn, and I’m hesitant to do it with this little devil underfoot.”

  “Sure,” I said, stuffing my things into the duffel bag. Just the sight of Peter made the decision for me. I had no choice. I couldn’t put their lives at risk simply because I wanted to spend time with them.

  “Thanks. Breakfast here or at the restaurant downstairs?”

  “Oh, here, don’t you think?” I said quickly, feeling like a huge coward. I tried to justify it when I took Peter, who was babbling happily to himself. He promptly grabbed a clump of my still-wet hair, and put it in his mouth. “Peter’s kind of messy.”

  “In more ways than one,” he said with a grin, then allowed his gaze to move along my body in a possessive manner that sent little zings of electricity skittering along my skin, sinking into my deepest parts. “I’ll get breakfast ordered.”

  I followed him into the living room, picking up the small package of oyster crackers that I’d saved from the selection of baby-suitable food that had been brought up the night before. “Do you like crackers, Peter? I know they aren’t the breakfast that you are expecting, but you may consider them an appetizer, and it’s good for you to broaden your expectations. As Swami Betelbaum says, the wider you open your eyes, the more likely they are to fall out and go exploring on their own. In a metaphysical sense, of course.”

  I could have sworn that Theo snorted while disappearing into his room.

  By the time Theo returned, Peter had drunk half a bottle of formula, eaten exactly three crackers, spilled onto the floor in succession two small cups of water that I offered him in case he was thirsty after the crackers, dragged most of my clothes out of the duffel bag and flung them around the floor when I went to get a towel to mop up the water, pulled the Bible from the top of the nightstand, and, finally, gotten into the cubbyhole at the bottom of the nightstand and withdrawn a stack of hotel stationery and informative tourist pamphlets.

  “What the hell happened in here?” Theo asked in amazement, surveying the ruins of what had been a tidy room. He looked at his watch. “It’s only been twelve minutes.”

  I sat on the floor trying to repack my small cosmetic bag with the things that Peter had spread on the floor while I’d dashed into the bathroom to use the toilet, and shot Theo a glare. “Your child is evidently an octopus.”

  Theo smiled with what I very much feared was pride, the smile cracking a little when Peter turned to him and pointed, no-no-ing. “Erm. Is there a reason you put lipstick on him?”

  “I just thought it looked good smeared on his forehead,” I snapped, lying flat on my stomach to reach under the dresser in order to snag the small round compact of loose powder that rolled under it. The compact was empty. “Great. Now I’ll have to tell housekeeping there’s a pile of powder under there.”

  He eyed me when I stood up, no doubt noticing that the very same lipstick that Peter had smeared on himself also appeared in child-finger-sized blobs on both of my arms, one of my boobs, and my left earlobe. His lips twitched.

  I pointed at him with a tampon I had wrestled out of Peter’s grasp. “Don’t you dare!”

  The twitching became more pronounced.

  “I swear to you, Theo, I will not be responsible for my actions if you even think about laughing. Your child is an octopus. A strange mutant child-octopus hybrid!”

  “I’m sorry,” he said in a choked voice, “I’m going to have risk it. It would harm my spleen to keep it bottled up.”

  “Gah!” I snarled, and, throwing my things on the bed, marched into the bathroom to clean up for a second time that morning, the sound of Theo’s whoops of laughter following me.

  “I have appointments this afternoon that I can’t miss,” Theo told me an hour later, when having breakfasted (and cleaned up Peter for the third time that morning), I sat on the floor playing a rousing game of Stack Things on Kiera. “I’ve rearranged all my morning meetings for the nanny interviews, but I can’t miss the afternoon ones, including signing the custody paperwork my lawyer is filing so that Peter is legally mine. Would you mind watching him
for me?”

  I was immediately torn between a spurt of pleasure that I had an excuse for not leaving, and the dread feeling that I was not only being foolish to remain in one spot for longer than a day but also endangering them.

  “Please,” he said, squatting down next to us, Peter gnawing on one of his fingers. I studied Theo, noting that the dark blue suit he wore almost matched his eyes, that his shoes were highly polished, and his shirt was so sharply pressed it looked like it could cut bread. His hair was combed back in what I was starting to think of as his slick, professional look. I much preferred the tousled, informal Theo. “I know we have some things to talk about, and I’m happy to do so once I’m done with these meetings, but it would make me feel better to know that you’ll be with Peter while I’m away.”

  “You’d trust your child to someone you just met?” I asked in what I hoped was a light tone.

  He studied me for the count of ten. “I’d trust my child to you, yes.”

  A warm kernel blossomed in my belly, and spread outward. “I’ll stay with him,” I said despite intending to tell Theo I had to be on my way after the nanny interviews.

  “Thank you.” He leaned forward over Peter’s head and gave me a swift kiss, then smiled, his breath hot on my lips, and kissed me again, his mouth moving on mine in a way that had all my intimate parts taking notice. My breasts instantly felt heavy and uncomfortably confined in my bra. “You, my fair little gazelle, are far too enticing for my peace of mind.”

  “Gazelle?” I asked, wanting to fan myself, but refusing to feed his ego any more than I already had.

  He flashed one of his heart-stopping grins as he picked up Peter and blew a raspberry on the baby’s stomach. “You remind me of a gazelle at a watering hole, all long legs and graceful lines, but oh-so watchful of everything going on around you.”

  “Gazelle,” I said again, considering it. I decided it wasn’t objectionable. “If I’m watchful, it’s because there are blue-eyed lions like you prowling around in the shadows.”

  A knock sounded at the door just as he was going to say something that I knew would be outrageous and laden with sexual innuendo. I got hastily to my feet, smoothing out my T-shirt.

  A woman at the door murmured something, handing Theo a sheet of paper. He read it, then held open the door for her.

  I took an instant dislike to the woman, who looked like she was in her mid-thirties, with curly blond hair, and a coolly confident manner that instantly made me feel like I was dressed in rags, that my hair was ratty and unkempt, and that I was a gawky, graceless beanpole.

  “Maureen Renshaw,” Theo said, handing Peter to me before gesturing the nanny to the couch opposite. To my secret pleasure, Theo sat next to me, one arm draped casually over my shoulders. “This is Kiera and Peter. The latter is ten months old, and is the most charming baby on the face of the earth.”

  Peter bounced on my legs, grabbing a handful of my hair and putting the ends of it in his mouth while he watched his father, his chuckles emerging along with little spit bubbles.

  “All new parents feel that way, to be sure,” Nanny Maureen said, giving us what I thought of as an insincere smile.

  “I assure you that in this case it’s the truth. Peter has a very cheerful disposition,” Theo said, taking a couple of tissues and pulling my hair from Peter’s grasp, wiping the slobber from it. I snagged one of the baby’s toys and allowed him to snatch it from my hand, and start beating Theo with it, all the while no-no-ing him. “He hasn’t cried once since we got him, has he, Kiera?”

  “Since you got him?” Nanny Maureen asked, her eyes narrowing.

  “Nope. He’s been as good as gold if you forget him screaming himself into a snotty fit at the train station, but I think we can excuse that. It was a trying circumstance, and he couldn’t find his inner peace.”

  “Er ...”

  “Custody of my son has recently been granted to me by his mother,” Theo said in a voice that I had never heard. It was clipped, his British accent even more pronounced, as if he were a lord and he’d been forced to chastise a serf.

  “Oh, then this is not baby’s mum?” Maureen gave a little sniff after sending me a glance filled with disdain. She turned to Theo, and smiled a brittle, hard smile. “I’m sure I can help you bring baby the order and structure to his day that is obviously lacking in his life.”

  “Whoa, now.” My words were out before I even considered the wisdom of getting riled up by this woman. “He’s not obviously lacking for anything. He’s very happy, as Theo just said. He’s smart, and curious about things around him, and likes baths. That’s not a baby who is lacking quality of life.”

  “I’m sure your ... companion ... means well,” Maureen said, ignoring me to address Theo. “But judging by the bad behavior she is all but encouraging baby to exhibit, I can see that I will have my work cut out instilling in baby the good habits that all responsible parents desire. You wish for live-in help, yes? Luckily, I’ve just completed an assignment with a charming Asian couple who decided to return to India, and am free for the three months you specified. Obviously, we can negotiate longer terms should they be needed.”

  I wanted to tell her exactly what I thought of her, but before I could, Theo was on his feet, offering his hand, thanking her for coming, and telling her he’d be in contact with the agency shortly. He had her out the door before I could explode.

  “What a self-righteous, pompous twit,” I said, pulling my hair once again from Peter’s mouth. “I’m not teaching him bad habits, am I?”

  “Not in the least,” Theo said, smiling down at us before glancing at his phone. “You’re as good with him as if you were his mother. Better, because I don’t think you’d ever dump your child on his father without so much as a tear shed.”

  “Oh, hell no.” I snuggled Peter, kissing the top of his head, and wondered how Nastya could have abandoned her own child. I decided it wasn’t worth getting upset about, since clearly she had made the right decision. Peter would have a wonderful future with Theo, a much better one than he would have with a mother who was too busy with her career.

  A little pang twanged in my heart at the thought that I wouldn’t get to see Peter grow up to be a happy child, but I shoved that down, way down. There was no sense in crying over something impossible.

  The second nanny interviewee was named Susan, and I knew in thirty seconds that she wouldn’t do. She all but purred at Theo, eating him up with her eyes, and was so completely unaware of Peter and me that at one point she stepped on my foot in her attempt to sit next to Theo. She got a polite handshake and escort to the door, where she lingered, sending Theo all sorts of messages with her eyes.

  “That was disgusting,” I said when the door closed, then cast Theo a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what? She wasn’t your pick from the agency’s offerings.”

  “For the fact that you have to put up with that sort of behavior. I can only imagine how annoying it is.”

  He smiled and leaned down to kiss me before he answered the next knock on the door. “That’s why I’m counting on you to save me.”

  Number three didn’t even get in the door. She just stood and stared at Theo, gulped a couple of times, then turned around and walked away without a word.

  Theo turned to look at me, one eyebrow cocked.

  I laughed out loud.

  He rolled his eyes.

  The fourth candidate, one Lauren Moscat, was just about perfect. She was in her late thirties, informed Theo that she was in a relationship with a longtime partner, and had a degree in childhood education. She didn’t talk down to me, and even appeared delighted when Peter needed his diaper changed.

  “Oh, let me. I’m an old hand at a dirty bottom,” she said, taking Peter to the bathroom Theo indicated.

  I exchanged a glance with him. We both followed her in, standing in the doorway and watching as Peter was expertly cleaned, powdered, anointed, and diapered without so much as one bit of poop smear
ed anywhere. She even deftly managed to whip a diaper over his penis when he started to pee straight up into the air.

  “What do you think?” Theo asked in a whisper, pulling me back to the living room.

  “She certainly seems to know how to diaper him without going through a whole boxful of wipes, which is miles ahead of us. And Peter likes her,” I answered, reluctance giving my words a leaden feel. I didn’t want to admit that I was bereft at the idea of never seeing Peter again, but honesty made me acknowledge that fact to myself, and add, “I think she’s probably a very good nanny, and she doesn’t seem to give a hoot about how you look.”

  “For which I’m grateful.” He cast a glance toward the bathroom when Lauren appeared with Peter in her arms, the baby chuckling and wiping his slobbery fingers on her hair.

  I felt as if I’d taken a physical blow.

  I sat silent while Theo chatted with the nanny for another ten minutes, trying to summon up a genuine smile when he offered her the job. Lauren accepted with alacrity.

  “Well,” Theo said, glancing at his watch before turning to me. “I’ve got time for lunch if we make it fast. What do you say to that?”

  “I’m happy to watch Peter if you two would like to have a little peace and quiet,” Lauren said, making silly noises at Peter, which delighted him. “I’ll go to the agency and formally accept the contract afterward.”

  “That sounds perfect,” Theo said, taking my hand before I could protest. “We’ll be down in the restaurant if you need us.”

  “But—” I felt the usual flood of panic at the idea of going out into a public space, but it was regret at leaving Peter with Lauren that was uppermost on my mind.

  “You deserve a break, sweet,” he said, twining his fingers through mine.

  We walked in silence down the long hallway to the elevator. Each step seemed longer than the last one until we finally stopped a couple of yards in front of the closed elevator doors.