The Unbearable Lightness of Dragons Read online

  “I am not unreasonable. I am never unreasonable, as can be seen by the fact that I am allowing my son to leave my protection. Must I remind you that you agreed, when you begged me to permit Brom’s visit, that you would have no other interaction with the silver sept?” Baltic asked, frowning fiercely.

  “Yes, but this is just Kaawa. She’s not really a dragon.”

  “She is the mother to the silver wyvern. What I do not understand is why you would be happy to have Brom visit Gabriel, when it was he, along with the other wyverns, who accused me of killing blue dragons and named you ouroboros.”

  A little pang spiked into my heart. Even though I didn’t remember anything about my past as a dragon other than what the visions had shown me, the moment when both Gabriel and Kostya formally severed my ties with their respective septs was painfully strong in my memory.

  “I’m going to talk to her, Baltic. She’s a nice woman, she’s learned in dragon lore, and she wants to help me resolve the issue with my inner dragon. And before you say it, I know you’re learned in dragon lore, too, but you haven’t been able to help me deal with this whole ‘I used to be a dragon’ thing, and Kaawa has. Kind of. Oh, and speaking of that, I have something I want to ask you about the past, but that can wait until I’m done with this call.”

  He looked for a minute like he was going to argue the point, but a quick glance at my forehead had him muttering under his breath instead as he turned and stomped off, Pavel following in his wake.

  “I’m so sorry about that, Kaawa. You know how Baltic is.”

  She chuckled in my ear, her voice, thick with an Australian accent, warming me even though we were continents apart. “Not really, but from what Gabriel has told me, you have your hands full. How are you, child?”

  “We’re fine. Brom is about to visit Gabriel and May for the weekend, as a matter of fact. It’s very kind of them to invite him for a stay, considering the war and all.”

  “Pfft. That is more of a formality than anything, don’t you think?”

  “Well, that’s what Aisling and May say, but Baltic takes it very seriously. He’s busy with plans to free his friend Thala from wherever it is Drake has her stashed. I probably shouldn’t have told you that, but I figured not only would you not carry tales to Gabriel, but the wyverns probably already know that Baltic wants Thala back.”

  She was silent for a moment. “I would not carry tales, no, but I will tell Gabriel anything that I feel endangers him or his wintiki.”

  “I would expect that. I can assure you that despite the animosities all around, I wouldn’t condone a plan to harm any dragon, let alone people I like.”

  The smile came back into her voice. “You did not tell me how you were feeling.”

  I thought about the strange vision. “I’m fine as well.”

  “One of my dreamings spoke of you. You have a great confusion inside you, child, and it is growing if it can reach to my dreaming.”

  “It’s growing?” A little shiver skittered down my back. “I don’t know what to say to that other than it makes me feel more than a little freaked out. What confusion? The dragon, you mean?”

  “That is part of it, yes.” Her voice, normally so warm and soothing, went a little rough. “I do not know. . . . I am not sure, but I believe that something has changed. What would that be?”

  If anyone else had been so nosy, I would have had a thing or two to say to them, but Kaawa had tried for the last few months to help me discover why the dragon I used to be was buried so deep inside me that it manifested itself only with visions of my past.

  “As a matter of fact, something did happen a short while ago. I had another vision.”

  “That is significant, but not such that it should affect my dreaming,” she said slowly.

  “This wasn’t a vision of things that happened in the past, Kaawa. Or rather, it probably was, but it didn’t concern me. It happened before I was even born.”

  “Tell me,” she urged, and I sat back down on the stone bench made warm by the sun and leaned against the side of the house, the drone of bees as they bustled about a nearby hydrangea bush providing a lazy, sonorous background as I described what I had witnessed.

  “I don’t know why my inner dragon would want me to see that—what does it care about Constantine before he had anything to do with me?—but I assume the significance must have something to do with the First Dragon having Baltic kicked out of the sept. Or do you think it was Antonia? She used to be his girlfriend, you know. Or maybe it was Constantine himself? It’s so confusing! It’s enough to drive me insane.”

  “You’re not insane,” she said slowly, obviously thinking it over. “But I do not think it was the dragon within you who gave you that vision, child. The events that happened were beyond its scope.”

  “No? What did, then?”

  “You are marked by the First Dragon. He is the only one who could have the ability to allow you to see things beyond your knowledge, and I can well believe that such an act would disturb my dreaming.”

  I rubbed the spot on my forehead where the First Dragon, the father of all dragonkin who ever were, or ever would be, had touched me. It had left a mark that was identical to the sept emblem that Baltic and I bore, that of an etched sun, but over the last few months, the mark on my forehead had faded until it disappeared entirely. “I’m sorry to be so ignorant about this, but I thought your dreaming was a representation of your faith, tied in to the land and animals. How could the First Dragon have an impact on that?”

  “I have two dreamings—the wintiki, or night bird, and light. It is the latter that was disturbed. I have long suspected that the First Dragon’s songline was located in Australia, although I have yet to prove it.”

  “A songline is . . . ?”

  She laughed. “I did not call to give you a lecture in Aboriginal history, Ysolde. It would take much time to explain it all, but for now I will simply say that a songline is the dreaming and trail created by spirit beings such as the First Dragon.”

  “All right. So because he left behind some sort of an ancient trail, that’s affected your dreaming?”

  “Yes. Only his touch upon you would result in such a thing. Tell me again what vision he gave you.”

  I described once more the scene between Constantine and the female mage.

  “I have heard nothing about the event Constantine described,” she said thoughtfully. “There is no record of Baltic being expelled from his sept. And it is unheard of for the First Dragon to interfere with the weyr. I wonder if Constantine . . .” Her voice trailed off.

  “Could he be lying?” I asked, and thought about that for a minute. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. I’m just going to have to ask Baltic about it.”

  She laughed. “It is always a challenge to get information from a dragon, and doubly so when it concerns something they do not wish to discuss.”

  “And well I know it. But this is too big for him to hide—at least I think it is. I certainly feel like being declared ouroboros is a life-altering event. If it’s true, what could he have done to piss off the First Dragon to that extent?”

  “That I do not know, and I suspect you will find it difficult to get Baltic to tell you. But I admit I would give much to know the answer.”

  “Let’s look at the facts: the First Dragon resurrects me when Constantine kills me.”

  “Yes,” Kaawa said.

  “Then he tells me, five hundred years later, mind you, which is a bit annoying, that I am supposed to do something for him.”

  “And you somehow let him down before—didn’t he say that?” Laughter was in her voice, taking the sting from the comment.

  “Yes.” I sighed. “There’s just nothing like knowing you’ve let down the one dragon ancestor you’ve failed in the past, and he’s told you to do something for him without telling you what it is, and oh, yes, don’t blow it. Again. You know, it’s a wonder I’m still sane, having that hanging over me.”

  “I don’t think
it’s a bad thing, Ysolde,” Kaawa said slowly, her voice now meditative. “You have warranted his trust for some task. That is an honor, no matter how you look at it.”

  “With the bottom line that if the First Dragon sent the vision about Constantine to me, then it must be related to whatever it is I’m supposed to do.”

  “Perhaps. Perhaps not. It is definitely odd.”

  “I agree, but what am I supposed to do about it other than try to worm the information out of Baltic?”

  “I am afraid I do not know, but I suspect you will find that answer for yourself.”

  “I wish I knew how I was supposed to do that,” I said, weary of constantly being in the dark concerning whatever task the First Dragon expected me to perform.

  “If I could answer that, I would be able to tell you what it is the First Dragon desires of you,” she said with a little laugh. “Talk to your mate. Encourage him to tell you about his past. The answer may well lie there.”

  “It might,” I said, a sudden insight coming to me. “But you know, Kaawa, if it was something Baltic did that is connected with my task, then it seems to me that the First Dragon would have given me a vision of that event, not of a discussion by two unrelated people casually mentioning it. No, I think this is a very big—if obscure— hint about something the First Dragon wants me to do about Constantine. He was the focus of the vision. But what is it I’m supposed to do? He’s dead, after all. He is dead, isn’t he?”

  “I believe so, yes. I have not heard otherwise.”

  “No, but you didn’t know Baltic was alive for almost forty years, either.”

  “Gabriel knew something was amiss in the weyr. He could feel a disturbance,” she pointed out.

  “True.” I vaguely remembered May telling me something about that, although Gabriel had been hard put to believe that it really was Baltic who had returned to the land of the living.

  “It could be something to do with the female,” Kaawa pointed out before continuing. “I must hang up now, child, but I am relieved to know that it was the First Dragon who touched you, and thus my dreaming, and not a malevolent force. Be well.”

  I thanked her for troubling herself, still trying to figure out something about the vision that would clue me in to what the First Dragon wanted me to do. “It may be an obscure hint, but it’s surely better than no hint at all,” I said to myself before glancing at my watch. I headed for Brom’s room at a fast trot, since Baltic hated to be late for appointments. “Another vision or two, and I bet it’ll all be clear to me.”

  My words echoed hollowly off the empty hall as I took the stairs two at a time, leaving me with a sense of ill-fated foreboding.

  Chapter Two

  “Ysolde. Brom.” Five seconds passed. “Baltic”.

  “Hi, Gabriel.” I smiled at the small group of people standing outside a house in an elite section of London. “May, is that a leather catsuit? I’ve always wanted to wear one, but I just don’t have the figure for it. It looks fabulous on you. Hi, Maata. I hope you’re not going to regret offering to take Brom to the British Museum again. I thought he wore you out the last time he dragged you through it. Good afternoon, Tipene, it’s nice to see you again. Oh, Gabriel, I spoke with your mother a little bit ago—it seems one of my visions disturbed her dreaming and she was checking up on me—she sends her love to both of you. She is so sweet. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate her concern for me. For us. Is she coming back to visit you soon? I’d love to see her again if she does. Maybe we could get together for a clandestine dinner or something, one that no one in the weyr would have to know about. I have a new recipe for the most divine stuffed mushrooms that I’m dying to try out.”

  Beside me, Baltic heaved a silent sigh. “Mate—” he started to say in protest.

  “It’s called polite chat, Baltic. May and I are going to do it, so you can just stop seething.” I smiled again at May and Gabriel, both of whom were now looking amused. Gabriel’s elite guards, Maata and Tipene, stood directly behind them. Maata’s lips twitched, but she kept her face as stony as Tipene’s.

  We made quite a group on the sidewalk.

  Baltic, Brom, and I stood with Pavel, all facing the silver dragons. Although May had invited us inside the house, Baltic and Gabriel insisted that the terms of the arrangement called for the handing over of Brom to be conducted outside the confines of their home.

  “You had another vision?” May asked, her eyebrows raised.

  “Yes, a very interesting one.” I slid a glance toward Baltic, who was staring moodily at Gabriel. There hadn’t been enough time for me to broach the subject of the vision with him, but I fully intended to do so at an appropriate time. “I think it had something to do with what the First Dragon wants me to accomplish for him.”

  “Really?” Interest lit up her blue eyes, and much to her wyvern’s dismay, she moved out of formation, took me by the arm, and tugged me toward the gate that led to the minute garden at the back of the house. “Tell me about it.”

  “May!” Gabriel demanded, incredulity rife in his voice.

  “Ysolde, this is a breach of protocol,” Baltic snapped. “You are violating the terms that the silver wyvern and I set down. You will come back here immediately and stand by my side, as is your duty.”

  “Boy, they get cranky if you mess with their plans,” I told May.

  “I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Gabriel gets cranky, but he can be a teeny bit inflexible when it comes to Baltic,” she agreed.

  “Mayling!” her mate said, clearly aghast.

  She grinned and blew him a kiss.

  “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes. Go get a latte or something,” I told Baltic as I followed May around the side of the house.

  “I do not want a latte! Mate! Return to my side!”

  “Oooh, you know how I love it when you get all domineering and pushy,” I told him over my shoulder. “Would you like me to call you Drake now or later?”

  May snickered.

  The word Baltic said in response wasn’t polite, but considering it was in Zilant, the centuries-old language used by dragons before English became the standard means of communication, I let it slide with a little giggle and a wave at Brom, who was in the process of disappearing into Gabriel’s house with Maata.

  “I figure we have about five minutes before Baltic insults Gabriel to the point where they start duking it out,” I told May as I took the seat she pointed me to. “We’re going to have to make this fast.”

  “I’m all ears.” She sat opposite me, saying not a word while I recounted the experience I’d had earlier in the day. Neither one of us thought anything about the fact that I would tell her something so intimate as the vision I had—through the dragon shard we had both once borne, there was a connection between us, a tie with the First Dragon that made it perfectly reasonable that she should hear about the vision he had given me. Her expression never wavered as I described the scene, but I knew she was as taken aback as I had been upon hearing Constantine’s statement regarding Baltic.

  “So what do you think?” I asked when I had finished.

  She was silent a moment. “I think we need Aisling.”

  “Oh? Why? There was no demon or anything like that where we’d need a Guardian.”

  “No, but three heads are better than two, and she has a way of getting information out of Drake that just might be useful. If Baltic isn’t forthcoming about what Constantine said, I bet Aisling can worm it out of Drake.”

  “Good point.”

  She pulled out a cell phone and punched in a number, holding it up to her ear as she spoke. “Plus, she’s kind of tied in with all of this. Kostya is Drake’s brother, and since Baltic and Kostya were friends—before Kostya killed him, naturally—that gives her a sort of an in, if you will. Hi, Aisling? It’s May. Do you have time in the next few days to meet with Ysolde and me? She’s had another vision, and I think you’re going to want to hear about it. Hang on, let me put you on speaker so Ysolde can
hear, too.”

  She pressed a button and held the phone out between us.

  “I’d be happy to see you both, but you are aware that the boys aren’t going to like it.”

  “Quite aware,” I told the phone.

  “OK. Just wanted to make that point. In fact, Drake has forbidden me to see you, Ysolde. He seemed to think May and I might have something up our sleeves to end this stupid war. Honestly, dragons. So suspicious.” The laughter in her voice had both May and me smiling, since we had intended to get together in the near future for just that purpose. “Let me look at my schedule to see when I can get away without Drake knowing. . . .”

  After exactly five minutes to the second, we heard a commotion from the street and hurried around the house to find the two wyverns nose-to-nose, shouting in Zilant.

  “Do you understand what they’re saying?” May asked me as we watched.

  I listened for a minute. “Not a whole lot, but I think Gabriel just told Baltic his mother was an ass. Or possibly a porcupine. And that, I believe, was an invitation for Gabriel to conduct an act that is anatomically impossible.”

  Baltic stopped in mid-insult to glare at me. Gabriel didn’t follow suit, although his dimples were nowhere in evidence when he held out his hand for May.

  “You are finished?” Baltic asked sourly. He didn’t hold out his hand for me, but I went to his side regardless, knowing that his feathers had been severely ruffled.

  “Yes, we are finished. Thank you for being so patient.” I leaned into him and smiled at Gabriel. “Please let us know if Brom goes over the line with his demands for trips to the British Museum. And thank you both for offering to have him despite the state of things. We’ll be back to get him on Sunday night. It was nice to see you all again.”

  Baltic felt enough pleasantries had been exchanged and hustled me into the back of the car, which was illegally parked a few yards away. “That is enough, Ysolde. When we were planning this, you did not say you wished to conduct a social visit with the silver dragons.”