A Tale of Two Cousins (A Papaioannou Novel Book 3) Read online

  “Indeed? Sadly, I can find no record of such documents.” He was back to sounding oily.

  I had to ask the question that I dreaded the most. “Would you, by any chance, have approved my cousin Friederich Kardom’s petition for recognition?”

  “I’m afraid I can’t speak about that to the public,” the annoying man said, and I’ll be damned if I couldn’t hear the smile in his voice. “Although I don’t think it’s breaking any confidences to say that we here in Beck have nothing but the greatest respect for Prince Friederich, and have, in fact, moved up the council vote on the subject of the royal family. It will take place in slightly less than two weeks.”

  “He’s not a prince,” I almost snarled, so frustrated I wanted to scream—or hit Iakovos’s punching bag. Dammit, Kardom had gotten to this man, too. I had no doubt that by now he’d snagged the only other undecided minister, too. Why else would he convince them to move up the vote? “And if you believe he is, then you’re just as deluded as he is—”

  “I’m afraid I have work to do, Princess. You will naturally excuse me.”

  The phone clicked before I could respond. I sat and swore to myself for a good ten minutes before I managed to get my strident emotions under control.

  “I’ll have to deal with Herr Asshat later,” I told Valentino while we rode the elevator to the top floor. “After I’ve talked to Dmitri to see what he thinks.”

  Less than five minutes after that, Valentino settled on Harry’s lap with a contented, but wary, expression. I bent awkwardly and shook the pudgy hand of a toddler named Peter.

  “He loves to shake hands, even though he doesn’t quite grasp the concept of what the purpose is,” his mother, Harry’s sister-in-law Kiera, said. “He makes Theo shake hands with him every time he comes home from work.”

  “Puppy! Mine!” Peter said, pointing at Valentino.

  “He’s a kitty, Peter, not a puppy, and he lives with Thyra,” Harry said, waggling her fingers at Peter at the same time I pulled Valentino off her lap.

  I wasn’t quite sure how the cat would react to a young child, and wanted to be able to remove him from the situation if he felt threatened.

  “He started the ‘mine’ thing a month ago. We’ve pointed out the differences between cats and dogs, but he pretty much calls all animals puppy.” Kiera smiled proudly at the boy, who headed straight for me when I sat down with Valentino.

  “Do you know how to make a soft hand?” I asked him when he bounced to a stop at my knees, glancing back at his mom. Both women were watching me, and I had an uncomfortable feeling I was undergoing some sort of a test. I felt oddly excluded at that moment, a sensation that left me desperate to do whatever it was to be accepted. I liked Harry, and I wanted to like this tall woman with freckles. I realized with a sharp pang of longing that I wanted to be part of Dmitri’s family.

  “Mine,” Peter said, pointing again at Valentino. “Puppy.”

  The cat sat on my lap in his standard loaf position, but his eyes were watchful.

  “This is Valentino. He likes to be petted, but you have to use a soft hand on him. Here, hold your hand out open, and very gently pet the back of his neck.” I held Valentino with one hand, while showing Peter how to pet. “See? Gentle pets. He likes it when you are soft with him.”

  “Soft puppy?” Peter asked, looking doubtful.

  “That’s right, the kitty is very soft. Aren’t you good with words describing your surroundings?” Kiera watched her son with an indulgent eye, adding to Harry and me, “We haven’t yet gotten a dog, but Peter does like the baby lambs on the island. Which, of course, he also calls puppy, but that’s neither here nor there.”

  I was a whole lot more nervous about the child getting scratched, but Valentino didn’t seem to mind being petted with awkward little pats and sticky-handed strokes.

  Peter abandoned us once Kiera brought out a big tablet of paper and some crayons. Valentino went to the patio to sun himself. “So, here we all are,” Harry said, beaming at us. “I’m so glad you got in early, Kiera, because I was going to surprise Thyra by taking her shopping for a dress for her wedding, but I’m feeling a bit worn out today, so you can do the honors.”

  “That’s very thoughtful of you,” I said quickly when Kiera, with a horrified look on her face that Harry laughed at, said she’d be happy to fill in, “but I have a dress. Mrs. Avrabos told me when I was putting Valentino’s litter box in your laundry room that she had cleaned the coffee out of it. And thank you for that, by the way.”

  “For Mrs. Avrabos?” Harry nodded. “She’s a wonder, isn’t she? Worth her weight in gold, and absolutely adores the kids, which is amazing given how wild they are.”

  “She is, but I meant for letting me park a litter box here. It makes me feel better knowing Valentino doesn’t have to hold anything in.”

  “I’m just happy you bring him with you. He’s such a love. I’m going to have to start working on Yacky to let me include a cat in our menagerie.”

  “Speaking of your children, I’m surprised they aren’t with you,” Kiera said.

  I sat feeling like an intruder, and wondered if I shouldn’t make an excuse and leave.

  But where would I go? Back to Dmitri’s apartment? His cleaner would be there now, and while I didn’t mind chatting with her, I felt a bit awkward having her clean when there was no reason I couldn’t be mopping the floors and cleaning the toilets, too.

  Except that Dmitri had made it quite clear that he preferred I not do the woman out of her job, especially since she was putting a daughter through college.

  “Iakovos had to come to Athens for a week, and since he doesn’t like to leave me this close to D-day, he insisted that I needed a break from the kids. And I admit, it is a lot more quiet, but I do miss the little rug rats. We’re going back on Saturday. I hope you plan on staying with us for a bit while the house is being finished. Thyra, you will love Theo and Kiera’s new place. It’s about a half an hour south of our island. They’ve been having the house remodeled for the last four months—when it’s done, it’s going to have solid glass walls facing the sea. The view is breathtaking, since the house is right on the water. Iakovos is pea green with envy, and has already started making noises about doing some remodeling on our house.”

  I smiled, and nodded, and made polite noises while the two women talked about their children, and the houses, and what Kiera was doing in New Zealand, where I gathered they lived part of the year. I wondered if there would be a time when I felt comfortable with them both, or if my weird social anxieties meant I would forever feel like an outsider.

  “So, what do you think?” Harry asked a half hour later when Kiera went to change Peter. Evidently they had started potty training, but it wasn’t going too smoothly. “I hope you like Kiera. She’s been through a lot in the last few years, but she and Theo are madly in love.”

  “She’s very nice. Peter is adorable,” I said politely.

  Harry shot me an acute glance. “But you’re not very comfortable with them?”

  “I’m ... kind of weird that way,” I said, hastily adding, “It’s nothing to do with them. I’m sure your brother-in-law and Kiera are super nice. I don’t want you feeling like I’m being judgmental or anything.”

  “Thyra,” she said, hoisting herself over on the couch so she could give my hand a squeeze. “You’re a friggin’ princess. Kiera is intimidated to death by you. She almost begged me not to leave her alone with you because she was terrified she’d say the wrong thing to you.”

  I blinked a couple of times, not sure what to make of that. “She’s intimidated by me? But you guys are good friends. You’ve known each other so much longer than I’ve known you. I’m the one who is the outsider intruding on your family group.”

  “Not anymore you aren’t,” Harry said with a pat on my shoulder. “Now you’re a part of the sisterhood of Papamaumau wives.”

  “Really, Harry?” Kiera asked, returning with Peter on her hip. “You still can’t say the
name?”

  Harry grinned. “I told Thyra you were terrified of her.”

  Kiera’s eyes opened wide. “Oh, God, you didn’t!” she said, then set down Peter and slumped to the floor next to him, covering her face. “A real princess knows I’m afraid of her. I shall now die of embarrassment.”

  “You won’t be the only one,” I said softly.

  “Thyra has social anxieties,” Harry told her. “She also seems to be pretty shy, which isn’t, I would imagine, standard princess makeup. So really, you two are a whole lot more alike than you know.”

  I looked at Kiera. She looked at me. “I’ll try not to be afraid of you, if you try not to be shy around me,” she offered.

  I thought about that, decided it was fair, and nodded. “Deal.”

  The rest of the day went better. I didn’t relax fully, but by the time I returned to Dmitri’s apartment, I felt like I had triumphed and beaten my feeling that I was an outsider.

  I told Dmitri so when he came home and took a shower before we went out for dinner. “I can’t imagine anyone being afraid of me. I mean, afraid! Of me! It’s bizarre.”

  “You’re royalty,” Dmitri pointed out while he pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. “That’s very intimidating. I can completely understand why Kiera was nervous meeting you. Hell, if I’d known who you were before I slammed the door into you, I’d have been nervous, as well.”

  I thought about telling him about my call to Beck, but decided not to ruin the evening with contemplation of that frustrating situation.

  Valentino, who was lolling on the bed like he was a king, put out one big orange paw and patted at the tie Dmitri had peeled off with his suit, tossing it all on the bed. I picked up both items, shook them out, then hung them in the closet. “Oh, come on. You’ve met royalty before. Harry says Iakovos did work for some Saudi prince a while back.”

  He grimaced. “And swore afterward that he’d never repeat the experience. You couldn’t be more different than that family if you were from another planet.”

  I gave a little eye roll, and put his shoes into the closet, as well, tossing his socks and underwear into the hamper. “I just don’t get it. I was born with this. But people like you, who succeed because you work hard and don’t allow the possibility of failing, you guys are the ones who are impressive. I can’t imagine doing what you do every day, although I am very excited about helping out.”

  “We’ll have to agree to have a mutual admiration society,” he said, giving his hair a quick brush before patting Valentino on the head. “Are we leaving His Majesty home?”

  “I thought we could. He didn’t seem to mind Peter, but he also didn’t head bonk him, and you know that’s Valentino’s standard rating of approval.”

  We told the cat to behave himself, and ran into Alexis as the latter was on his way out. I gathered from the comments made while we rode down in the elevator that Alexis was a bit of a ladies’ man.

  The two men paused to talk to the concierge, leaving me to emerge into the soft night air, the smog making my nose wrinkle a little. Cove got out of the car at the sight of me, and just as I started forward, a man appeared from behind a palm tree in a massive planter and, before I knew what he was doing, had one arm around my waist and hustled me down the street a good ten yards. He stopped, spun me around, and glared into my face, his hands hard on my upper arms.

  “What the—what are you doing here?” I asked.

  “Waiting for you to come out. Do you have any idea how hard it was to find you? I’ve been trying to get in to see you for the last two hours, and the blasted people there won’t let me—”

  A blue shape seemed to blur in front of me, and the next thing I knew, I was standing by myself while Dmitri held a man up by his throat against the wall of the building.

  “What the hell do you think you are doing?” Dmitri snarled in a tone that I’d never heard him use. Behind him, Alexis menaced, while Cove took my arm and tried to hustle me into the car.

  “If you think you’re going to so much as touch Thyra—”

  “Dmitri, stop! That’s not Kardom!” I almost yelled, twisting out of Cove’s hold to run over to where Dmitri was glancing in surprise over his shoulder at me.

  “It’s not? Then who the hell is it?”

  “My brother. He’s turning bright red. Do you think you could let him have some air now?”

  “Your ...” Dmitri turned back to look at where Chris was, indeed, turning red. “Shit.”

  “That’s what I was about to say,” Chris wheezed when Dmitri stopped leaning on his windpipe. Both Alexis and he grabbed Chris when the latter’s knees buckled for a few seconds. He coughed a couple of times, rubbing his throat, his eyes watering when they turned on me. To my complete surprise, he wasn’t furious at the treatment, although when he spoke, his voice was a bit thin and hoarse. “I guess this answers my question about whether or not this man you’re marrying will keep you safe.”

  “This is your brother,” Dmitri repeated, looking more than a little stunned. “The one who is the Scottish cop?”

  “Detective chief inspector, thank you very much,” Chris said with dignity, straightening his shirt, which had been rumpled when Dmitri slammed him against the wall.

  “You got the promotion!” I said, giving him a hug and a kiss to the cheek. “I’m so happy for you. When did you find out?”

  “Two days ago. I would have told you when you called, but I figured since I was coming out here anyway, I’d just tell you then.” He grinned and for a moment, I felt as blessed as anyone could be.

  I took Dmitri’s arm. “Dmitri, this is Chris. Chris, this is Dmitri. That’s Alexis, Dmitri’s new associate person, and over there is Cove, the driver.”

  Dmitri gave me a long look.

  “No,” I told him.

  “You have to,” he answered.

  “I don’t.”

  Chris eyed Dmitri for a few seconds, then gave me a half smile. “You do, I think. Go ahead, it won’t kill you.”

  I sighed a dramatic, martyred sigh. “Why do you people make such a big fuss about this? Fine. Dmitri Papaioannou, may I present His Serene Highness Crown Prince Christian Leopold Friederich of Sonderburg-Beck, oldest living legitimate member of the house of Sonderburg-Beck, detective extraordinaire, and pain-in-the-ass brother who didn’t bother to tell me that he was coming to Athens.”

  Chris laughed and gave me a squeeze before turning to face Dmitri, holding out his hand. “‘Chris’ will do nicely. I’ve been wanting to meet you ever since Thyra told me she was marrying you.”

  “Likewise,” Dmitri said, looking oddly relieved. I wondered about that for a minute, and then I realized that both Alexis and Dmitri had been standing very straight until Chris held out his hand. I bit back a little giggle at the thought that they had been on the verge of bowing.

  “We’re just off to have dinner with Dmitri’s cousins.” I glanced at Dmitri. “Er ...”

  “I’m sure Jake and Harry would be delighted to have you join us,” he said smoothly, and after shooing away Alexis (who had announced he’d be willing to put off his date just so he could say he had dinner with a prince and princess), we headed out with Dmitri and Chris discussing such fascinating topics as Dmitri’s ability to keep me in the style Chris wanted for me (that earned my brother a glare and a lecture on how I didn’t need a man to support me), why Dmitri had an arrest record (another glare, another lecture, this one regarding invasion of other people’s privacy, which was interrupted when I asked Dmitri just what he was arrested for—a political protest when he was a young man), and, finally, why he felt he was worthy of wedding a Sonderburg-Beck.

  “Right, you are being the worst sort of obnoxious,” I told Chris. “I hope you’ve worked all of your older-brother protective crap out of your system, because I’m tired of hearing it, and you’re giving Dmitri the wrong impression about us.”

  “On the contrary, I have nothing but respect for your brother,” Dmitri said with a little shru
g. “He’s protecting you. I would do the same for a sister, although I might not have the investigative resources that he does.”

  Chris just grinned.

  We spent a pleasant evening with Dmitri’s family, although I’m not sure that Chris knew what to think when Harry insisted taking a selfie with him. “I am sending this to Patricia right now,” she said, tapping furiously on her phone, “with a message that reads I am having both a prince and princess to dinner, and what’s she up to? Ha! Oh, she’s going to froth at the mouth over this. Wait, Chris, do you mind if we do a picture where you’re kissing my hand? I think that might just send her over the deep end.”

  Iakovos and Theo were off checking something to do with the air-conditioning unit when we arrived, which just sent Dmitri after them with a muttered comment that neither one of his cousins knew anything about changing filters. Chris chatted politely with Harry; I sat on a chair with Peter on my lap while he played with my braid.

  Kiera sat next to me, sending Chris periodic startled glances until I leaned over and whispered, “He’s not going to demand that someone cut off your head if you say the wrong thing, you know. We can’t do that.”

  She gave a gulping laugh.

  “Not any longer, that is,” I added, keeping my lips from twitching.

  She shot me a horrified look.

  Chris told Harry—who evidently had a love of all things forensic—about some of his more interesting cases. Peter continued to chatter to himself while he played with my hair.

  “He loves long hair,” Kiera said just as the men returned. “He used to love to suck on mine, but we finally taught him that it wasn’t polite to do that to other people—no! Peter, no! You are a very bad boy. I’m so sorry, Thyra. Here, let me get a wet towel.”

  “Peter? A bad boy? Never!” A man who was just a smidgen taller than Dmitri strolled out, his gaze going first to Kiera as she dashed into the apartment, then to Peter, who had stuffed the tail of my braid into his mouth and was happily chewing on it. “Ah. I see. Peter, old man, we’ve had this talk several times now. It’s not polite to chew other people’s hair, especially those of royalty. You must be the princess that Dmitri managed to brainwash into marrying him. Please forgive my son. He’s not really a cannibal.”