The Importance of Being Alice Page 18

  She blinked, holding out a hand, which he took. “I hope Alice had only nice things to say about me. I’m a wonderful person, really. Charming, some might also say charismatic, intelligent—”

  “Modest,” Elliott said, taking my hand, and leading me down yet another cobblestone street to where the bus to the palace waited.

  “I hope you don’t mind that your boyfriend and I tag along, dear,” Deidre said, falling into step next to me. “We met last night, and dear Patrick’s plight plucked at my heartstrings. How you can resist such a handsome, erudite man is beyond me.”

  “Just wait till you get to know him,” I said, shooting Patrick a look filled with ire. He blew me a kiss. “Then you’ll understand.”

  Tiffany was waiting for us at the bus. The Japanese group was already on board, but I noticed that Anthony and Dahl were not.

  “They went on to Rothenburg,” Tiffany answered when I asked about them. “Something about there being more tourists to chat with.” She then turned to Patrick and said, “Sir, I believe you are on the wrong bus. This vehicle is for the Manny van Bris tours only. You’ll find public transportation across the square.”

  “Oh, he’s all right,” Deidre said, pulling Patrick past Tiffany, who had blocked the aisle. “He’s Alice’s boyfriend.”

  “No, he’s not,” I said, and took a seat toward the back. Elliott sat next to me.

  “I used t’be,” Patrick objected.

  “Used to isn’t worth squat. Feel free to kick him off, Tiffany. He has nothing to do with me.”

  “I like that! If it wasn’t for me, you’d never have met Elliott!”

  “And just who are you?” Tiffany had turned when Gunner entered the bus.

  He smiled and offered her a couple of twenty-euro notes. “I believe my brother asked if I could accompany you? He said this should cover the costs of my inclusion in the tour.”

  “Oh, yes, that’s all right,” Tiffany said with a sniff. She took the money and stuffed it into a pocket before turning back to Patrick. “I’m sorry, sir, but you will have to leave.”

  “He gets to go,” Patrick said, pointing to Gunner, who had taken a seat across from us. “Why can’t I?”

  “Mr. Ainslie made arrangements for the inclusion of his brother last night. No such arrangements were made for you, sir.”

  Patrick whipped out his wallet and dangled a few notes in front of her. “I’m sure that was just an oversight on Alice’s part.”

  “It’s nothing to do with me,” I said loudly, making shooing gestures. “Boot him off the bus!”

  “Deidre, then,” Patrick said, pulling out another wad of money.

  Tiffany looked annoyed, but she jerked the money from his fingers with a terse, “Very well, just this once I will make an allowance, but you must not bother any of the rightful passengers. Take your seats, please. We will commence our tour to the famed ornate Bishops’ Residenz, which you must know is one of Germany’s biggest palaces, and is in fact a UNESCO World Heritage site.”

  “You think we can break away from the others and see the palace on our own?” I asked Elliott while Tiffany droned on tossing out dry facts and figures.

  “We can certainly try. I’d like to get Gunner alone so we can tell him our news.”

  “Really?”

  Elliott looked surprised at my question. “Did you think I wasn’t going to mention it to him?”

  “Well . . .” I made a noncommittal gesture. “Kind of. I thought maybe you would give it a bit of time before you mentioned it to your family, since we haven’t known each other for long.”

  “As I told you earlier, the very fact that I feel so strongly about you should alert my family that something extraordinary has happened.” He took my hand, giving it a little squeeze that warmed me through and through. “Are you worried that you won’t receive a welcome reception from them?”

  “Honestly?” I thought about it for a moment. “No. But I think we may both be in for a little ribbing.”

  “Ribbing I can take,” he said, nodding when Tiffany pointed at something out the window. “But you should have no fear that our marriage will meet with any objection. My mother will be thrilled beyond words.”

  That I would wait to see, but I didn’t voice that opinion to Elliott.

  The rest of the trip out to the palace was spent listening to Tiffany. We did manage to lose her once we had toured the (huge and incredibly ornate) palace, and were released to wander around on our own. Elliott, Gunner, and I made a beeline for the gardens, handily ditching the others so that we could have a little privacy.

  “This place is so incredible,” I said, snapping a picture of a particularly lovely fountain. “It’s like a dream, it’s so perfect. I can almost picture a carriage rolling up the drive, and a woman in a long, flowing dress running out to greet her returning lord.”

  “You have quite the imagination, don’t you?” Gunner asked with a smile.

  “Yes, but even you have to admit that this place is the epitome of romance.” I gestured toward the massive structure behind us. “I’m surprised they haven’t made a bunch of period movies here.”

  “Speaking of romance,” Elliott said, taking my hand. “We have something to tell you.”

  “Oh?” Gunner looked up from where he was fiddling with his camera. His eyes widened. “You don’t mean—”

  “Yes. Actually, yes and more. I’ve asked Alice to marry me. She said yes.”

  “Marry you?” Now Gunner looked dumbfounded. Thankfully, that changed almost immediately to delight. “You’re not joking, are you? What am I saying? You never joke around like that. You’re really engaged?”

  “Yes,” I said, then laughed when he whooped and crushed me in a bear hug. “I’m glad that you, at least, aren’t going to flip us any crap about getting together so quickly.”

  “Oh, I’m going to rag Elliott for years about that, but it doesn’t mean I’m not delighted.” He hugged Elliott, who socked him on the shoulder. “Fancy you two finding each other like this. It’s definitely like something out of one of El’s books.”

  “Hardly,” Elliott said with a wry twist to his mouth. “Not unless Alice turns out to be a secret agent, and shoots us both to escape with a bag full of priceless jewels. Or cocaine. Or, for that matter, illegal arms.”

  “I promise I won’t do any of that.” I kissed Elliott on his nose, so happy I felt as if I could burst.

  “You have to let me marry you,” Gunner said suddenly, an expression of joy on his face. “Please, El, you know I’ve always wanted to marry someone ever since I was ordained.”

  I gawked at him. “You’re a minister?”

  “No, he’s not,” Elliott said with a long-suffering look.

  “Don’t listen to him, he’s a nonbeliever. I’m duly ordained by the Church of Jante.”

  “The who now?”

  “It’s an Internet religion,” Elliott said, tugging me away, his fingers laced through mine as we strolled through the impressive gardens. “It’s not real, and he can’t marry people.”

  “Of course I can, although you are recommended to follow up with a civil ceremony, just in case the government refuses to recognize my authority. I could officiate at your wedding ceremony, and then you can slip out to the registrar’s office afterward and take care of any remaining legalities.”

  “That’s actually a very cool idea,” I said, thinking that there was no better way to be welcomed into Elliott’s family than to have his brother marry us. “We could have the ceremony at your castle!”

  “That is not at all a good idea,” Elliott said over the top of Gunner’s enthusiastic agreement.

  “Why not?”

  “Because the Ainslie Castle is in the middle of being restored. One entire wing is off-limits since parts of it have crumbled, and the rest of it is receiving much-needed structural work
to keep it from falling down. We could hardly host the sort of ceremony you’re thinking of. A visit to the registrar’s office sounds appropriate, though. We’ll have to review the laws regarding an American-English marriage once we get home.”

  My joy dimmed somewhat. “But your castle would be so romantic. I can’t imagine a woman alive who wouldn’t want to be married there.”

  “It’s just not viable, Alice. I’m sorry. If you like, we can look for some other stately home venue in which to hold the wedding, although I hesitate to point out that such places tend to be rather expensive. . . .”

  “I have it!” Gunner said with a snap of his fingers. “We’ll marry you here.”

  “Here in Germany? Wouldn’t it be harder, legally speaking, for an American and an Englishman to marry here than it would in England, where at least one of us is a citizen?”

  “Nonsense. I’ve seen the marriage application form that churchofjante.com states must be filled out in order to have a marriage officiated, and there is no occupancy requirement. Citizenship, yes, but you don’t need to live in the location where I marry you.” He waved an arm encompassing all of the grounds. “You wanted a castle for your wedding backdrop—how about one of the grandest examples in all of Europe?”

  “Your Internet ordination is hardly going to be viewed by the Germans as legal—,” Elliott started to protest.

  “No more so than in England, I agree, and more fools they are.” He whomped his brother on the arm. “That’s why you follow up with a civil ceremony when you get home. And bonus for your thrifty ways: you could take the rest of the tour as your honeymoon. There’s, what, a week left?”

  “Oooh,” I said, starting to like this idea more and more. “That would be awesome. Some people might think it’s a bit odd having the honeymoon before the legal ceremony, but I’ve never been overly concerned about things like that. How about it, Elliott? Do you want to marry me in one of the most romantic spots on earth?”

  Elliott was at a loss for words, and I realized that he was truly flabbergasted by the idea.

  “OK, time-out,” I told Gunner, taking Elliott by the hand and heading for a small group of topiaries. “I think I need to speak to the groom alone.”

  “You do that,” Gunner said, nodding. “I’ll run up to the castle office and see if I can print out a copy of the marriage application. I’ll need you to fill that out before I can marry you. This is going to be excellent, most excellent!”

  I waited until we were out of earshot of the other tourists before I turned to Elliott and said, “The whole idea of a marriage here has you freaked out, hasn’t it?”

  “It’s not that I don’t want to marry you,” he said quickly, pulling me up for a quick kiss. “I don’t want you thinking that at all. But this . . . it’s no more than playacting, really. Gunner isn’t really a minister. Any marriage he officiates would just be an agreement between us, and nothing more.”

  “If you come right down to it,” I pointed out, “that’s all that marriage really is, isn’t it? All the legal stuff is a way for governments to recognize a joining of two people, and if we plan on doing that later anyway, I don’t see that there’s a difference between Gunner marrying us here and Gunner marrying us a day before we go sign a marriage license in England.”

  His eyes were shaded, but I could clearly read doubt in them. “But this would be your wedding. Don’t you wish to have your family and friends attending?”

  “Believe it or not, when Patrick and I were going to get married in Budapest—man, I can’t believe I even wanted to do something so stupid—all we were going to do was to say our own vows, toss some flowers into the river, and then go to the registrar’s office. So if you’re asking if I’ll miss the white dress, and bridesmaids, and flowers, and a huge expensive wedding that would make everyone insane, the answer is no. I’d far rather stand here in this dress and marry you right here and now. But it’s not all about me, Elliott. This would be your wedding, too, and if you’d rather have your mom and all your brothers and sisters and friends, then I will have no problem whatsoever telling Gunner that we’re going to wait.”

  He hesitated, and I knew that I’d have to give up my dream of being married at a castle.

  “It’s all right,” I told him, giving his lower lip a swift lick. “We’ll find somewhere cheap and romantic in England to get married.”

  “No, Alice, I—” He stopped, his brow furrowed. “I don’t know how to say what I want to say. It’s most infuriating. I’m a writer, for god’s sake. I should be able to put words together in a manner that is understandable.”

  The poor guy really looked like I had pulled the rug out from under him. I took pity on his obvious need to reassure me. “Maybe I can help. Is it marrying me that you object to?”

  “Christ, no. I want to marry you. You know that.”

  “OK, is it being married without your family? Does that bother you?”

  “Not particularly, no. Like you, I’ve never been a fan of large ceremonies.” He gave a little shudder. “Especially ones where I was expected to be the focus of attention. And as for my family—they would be just as happy with a party thrown after the fact. Probably more so, since less decorum will be expected.”

  “I love that you’re such an introvert,” I said. “All right, then, is it getting married in Germany?”

  “No, it’s not that—”

  “Is it the spur-of-the-moment aspect?”

  “You have to admit it is very spontaneous.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “But I am trying, for your sake, to go with the flow. I would be quite happy to marry you today if it could be arranged.”

  “Is it Gunner? You don’t want your brother being the officiant? Did you want him for your best man, instead?”

  “I would have him for a best man, naturally, but I also like the idea of him officiating, if only—” He stopped again.

  “Gotcha. It’s the fact that it’s not a legal ceremony.”

  “It just seems . . .” He made a vague gesture. “It’s so . . . unstructured.”

  “If we made our wedding vows in bulleted lists, would that help?” I asked.

  He laughed, and hugged me despite the fact that a family was strolling past. “It might. Don’t listen to me, Alice, I’m a fool, and we both know it. If you wish to be married right here, right now, in what clothes we have on, and with what friends we have around us, then I would be honored and grateful and blessed to the ends of my days.”

  “You’re sure?” I asked, nibbling his chin just a little before letting go of him. “No regrets? Patrick and Deidre are bound to show up for it.”

  A look of satisfaction spread across his face. “I have to admit that is a bonus I hadn’t considered. Very well, we’ll do it. But I will want us to be married again in England as soon as we can arrange it.”

  “Deal,” I said, and shook his hand.

  Which is why, diary mine, approximately an hour and twenty minutes later, Elliott and I stood in a semicircle comprised of Izumi, Megumi, the Japanese schoolgirls, Tiffany, Laura, Deidre, and a resigned Patrick.

  The last actually surprised me—I thought he’d be a bit more surly, or even hurt that I was marrying his friend after such a short period of acquaintance—but I suspect that he had finally realized that we really weren’t meant to be together.

  “Do you have vows you would like to speak to each other?” Gunner asked.

  “Yes, we have prepared some,” Elliott said, all businesslike, just like he was testifying in court.

  I buried my face in the clump of silk flowers that Laura had plucked from a garish tourist hat, and tried not to giggle out loud.

  “Would you care to speak your vows?” Gunner asked me.

  “Certainly.” I could do the dignified mien as well as Elliott. I handed my bouquet to Laura, and pulled out two slips of paper, giving one to Elliott. “He
re is a copy for your records.”

  Elliott smiled, looking down at the paper I had handed to him. My vows were, indeed, bulleted.

  I took a deep breath, and took his hands in mine. His eyes were warm, like liquid silver, and filled with so much love that I almost broke down. “I, Alice Little Wood, do solemnly swear in the presence of these, our friends and fellow travelers, to cherish you, and trust you, and think about your needs, and love you to the end of our days. I promise not to bother you when you’re working, unless it’s a matter of life or death, and I promise not to make you wear silly hats unless you are willing to do so, and I promise to be there when you need me. I promise that even when I don’t agree with what you say, I’ll always listen.”

  “Oh, that is lovely,” Laura said, applauding lightly.

  Deidre rolled her eyes and looked pointedly at her watch. “Is this about over? There are several other things I’d rather be doing.”

  “And Elliott?” Gunner nudged his brother.

  “My vows are not written down,” Elliott said, kissing each of my hands. “Except on my heart.”

  “Aww,” Laura said.

  I sniffled happily.

  “They are simply I love you, and I want to be with you for all the days that remain to me.” He paused. “And that I honestly cannot think of my life without you in it. For those reasons, I take you as my wife.”

  My lip quivered. “That is so romantic,” I told him, fighting to keep from flinging myself upon him right then and there. “No one has ever said anything like that to me.”

  “I did,” Patrick said, raising his hand. “Well, something similar. Somewhat. Without all the frills.”

  We ignored him.

  “Since you have both decided to forgo rings—”

  “Only for the present,” Elliott interrupted, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of my fingers. “We’ll have them for the civil ceremony.”

  Tears pricked hard and hot behind my eyes. I was marrying him! It was the single most romantic moment in my life!

  “Then by the authority granted to me via the Church of Jante (churchofjante.com), I pronounce you brother and wife.” Gunner beamed at us. “You may snog the wits right out of the bride.”